So that happened.
Dry January has been a joyous journey. I expected it to feel like an uphill climb, and at times it did. But mostly it felt like a happy dance.
I feel free. I feel unlimited.
And I never could have gotten through this without Connect and everyone who inspired and supported me along the way. To think that I have been able to inspire and support others makes my heart burst with joy and gratitude.
So here I am on Day 31:
- 5.2lbs lost
- 23 workouts
- 25 blue dots
And now the big numbers, courtesy of my Dry January app:
- $200 saved
- 10,000 alcohol calories not consumed
TEN THOUSAND calories I would have spent on poison instead of protein shakes. On sugar instead of – ok, well I definitely still consumed sugar. In fact I still consumed all my daily points and almost all of my weeklies. But instead of spending half my dailies and most of my weeklies on booze, I spent it (for the most part) on foods that nourish my body. Foods that sustain energy. Foods that build muscle.
I used to ingest 10,000 calories of alcohol every month. I am NEVER going back to that number.
But back to the scale. As of this morning, I am 143.6lbs, under my original goal weight of 145. I didn’t make it to my current goal of 138, but that is ok. For now, I am going to stick with Freestyle and my current workout regimen and see where my body settles.
I am happy with the way I look. (Omg I just typed that!) I don’t know where I will end up weight-wise but I do know these two things:
1. I de-puffed like a BOSS this month; and
2. Whether I reach my goal of 138 or not, I NEVER would have gotten there with my former drinking habits.
My former drinking habits. Have I mentioned I’m not going back?
Pictured here is a little vignette I like to call “Husband Working Late: 2018 vs. 2017.” On the right side we have how I would have handled a weeknight solo prior to Dry January. On the left side we have my night tonight. Either way, #imomsohard (obviously) and that pint of Enlightened Snickerdoodle is SO going down (only 7 smart points!). But besides the glass and the ice cream, I am gobsmacked by how my habits have changed in just 30 days.
I had another dream last night that I drank an entire bottle of wine and actually woke myself up in a panic before the relief of reality set in. As much as I dislike interrupted sleep, I have to have a moment for how refreshing it is to wake up and feel relief instead of regret!
Tonight when I was putting this photo op together, even just holding the bottle of wine made me feel very strange. I’m still not ready to say goodbye forever, I don’t think. But even though my husband won’t be home until late and I have a rare and welcome night to myself I was not tempted to open that bottle AT ALL.
At the beginning of this month, and in fact for several months and years prior, I never could have imagined getting myself to a place like this. A place of zero temptation. It feels like a miracle, truly.
So I’m going to relish the silence in my house and have a moment for mama. Some time to reflect and celebrate. To feel exactly where I am mentally and emotionally as the last day of January looms beyond tonight’s full moon.
Am I ready for it? I’m not ready for it! Am I?
Yes, I am. Yes I am.
Twenty-nine days of feeling proud. Truly, actively proud of myself.
Twenty-nine consecutive clearheaded days.
Twenty-nine days of mind-bogglingly consistent energy instead of a moody roller coaster.
Twenty-nine days of awakened creativity. Increased patience. Increased zeal or passion or zest or whatever you want to call this feeling of being engaged in my life on such a deeper and clearer level.
Twenty-nine days without numbed senses. Without hazy memory. Without regret.
Twenty-nine days of living an exquisitely raw, unfiltered life.
What a gift this month has been.
I have been keeping my vintage She-Ra* action figure close at hand lately as a reminder.
- A reminder that I am stronger than my cravings.
- A reminder that I am more than a number on a scale.
- A reminder not to take things too seriously.
- A reminder that muscles matter.
- And most important, a reminder to strive to be the strong and healthy person my daughter will look up to as a mom, a grown-up, an athlete, a human being.
Four weeks of Dry January. Achievement unlocked.
I don’t know what I will encounter on the scale tomorrow morning. I do know that I have not gotten enough sleep this week and so I am heading to bed early tonight. I also know that whatever tomorrow’s number is, I am damn proud of these four weeks. 28 days without alcohol. 28 days of self-care and self-re-discovery. It has been awesome.
*After posting this on Connect, a kind reader corrected me. This is not, in fact, She-Ra but Teela.
I am staking my claim. Planting my flag into the dirt of this beautiful day. Posting early so that I can spend the rest of the day being totally present and productive with my family and focusing on clean eating.
Today I shall #SaturSLAY. It’s on, y’all.
Workout done: another awesome #ww_warrior Peloton ride, onto which I tacked 15 minutes of abs and 10 glorious minutes of stretching.
Today I will score a blue dot which eluded me yesterday as I dug deep into that damn bag of small batch artisanal restaurant-style tortilla chips. (Why can’t I quit you???)
And no booze of course!
The sun is shining, the deep freeze has lifted, it’s Day 27 of Dry January, and I’ve left yesterday in the dust.
It’s a good day to slay. How will you slay today?
Photo credit: my 6-year-old daughter (who can’t read yet – ha!)
I woke up this morning feeling so strong and svelte and, alas, am ending the day feeling gross and guilty. But at least I’m not drunk! So there’s that.
My doctor’s office told me I had to fast until 1pm today – nothing but water. I can’t believe the impact that it had. By the time I got to my annual wellness visit I felt like I was barely functioning. As soon as I had the routine blood draw, I pounded a Quest protein bar in world record time.
The bar brought me back, but it was not enough to resist the restaurant-style tortilla chips that were back in stock at my local fancy grocery store where I stopped for lunch after my appointment. Cut to the present and I’ve consumed half the bag. Ugh.
Points are tracked. Weeklies are decimated. And I am reminded that these chips are one of my last remaining trigger foods over which I have little to no control. Time to be exiled from my shopping cart for the foreseeable future, chippies! No chip, no matter how perfectly salted, can stand between me and #bikinigoals!
So I settle my bloated self into this Friday evening, seltzer in hand and zero point dinner planned. Hoping that with two days of clean eating before my weigh-in on Monday I can maintain the almost 2lb loss I had as of this morning.
And the kicker? My doctor told me I didn’t need to fast in the first place. Doh!
As guilty as I feel for gorging on those (admittedly amazing, seriously our whole town is addicted – I didn’t see one shopping cart without them!) chips, I am happy and relieved to be feeling negligible wine cravings tonight. And I received these beautiful flowers pictured here for leading a nonprofit volunteer project to great success. It was either a pic of these gorgeous flowers – a reminder that I am putting good work into the world – or the decimated bag of chips.
Day 26! I’ve never felt healthier at a check-up than I did today. I’m reaching the “Naked Mind” part of This Naked Mind – a good note on which to bring this month to its conclusion, though the journey will of course continue. Into the final Dry January weekend we go!
Day 25! Already! And, you know, no biggie. Which still boggles my mind but that is, in fact, how I feel. No biggie. Which of course is a huge triumph for me.
I feel like I have a LOT in my head right now and I kind of just need to let it percolate tonight. I’m starting to take stock of this month’s journey, while still plowing through This Naked Mind, trying to reach workout and blue dot goals, and being a Supermom to my two aspiring superheroes and their two doggie sidekicks.
A lot to ponder, plan, and achieve. And I’m rocking it, but feeling a bit overloaded at the moment. Not hopelessly overwhelmed like I used to be, but more like my life is opening up before my eyes and I need a moment to take it all in. So I’m taking tonight to get some extra sleep and hope for some subconscious sorting of all this awesomeness.
One more thing that’s on my brain:
I have a well visit with my doctor tomorrow afternoon. For the first time in my life I am looking forward to stepping on the scale and not stretching the truth about the number of drinks I have per week. I am interested to see what my numbers are and how my weight loss and not drinking for 25 days have impacted things. But mostly I’m just stressing about having to fast until 1pm. So there’s that.
Tomorrow will be an interesting day for sure. Bring it, 26!