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The writings of a former wine mom and sometime supermom maintaining weight loss, workouts, and wits. Proudly alcohol-free since July 5, 2018.

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Hi, I’m Jen.

An occasional supermom of two aspiring superheroes, I have been known to polish off a jar of Nutella and/or a bottle of wine in one sitting.

But after six years of motherhood under my too-tight belt, I decided to cut the Nutella habit and invest in self-care. In 2017, I lost 25 pounds with Weight Watchers (now WW) and started exercising regularly again. In 2018, I maintained my weight loss, ramped up my workouts, and began to explore my dysfunctional relationship with wine.

Having completed Dry January and then another 76-day alcohol-free stint in the spring, I committed to One Year Alcohol-Free on July 5, 2018. July 4, 2019 was my Independence Day and I’m proud to be navigating #momlife without booze.

Find me on Instagram! @maintaining_mama

What, you don’t coordinate your outfit with your workplace? 😉 #kickboxing #mma #drydecember #AFday526 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom

Whether your self-spelunking requires your phone’s flashlight or a military-grade searchlight, you are brave. ⁣ ⁣ Whether you’re thinking of dipping a toe into your soul’s depths or you’ve been diving for decades, you are brave. ⁣ ⁣ Sometimes I feel brave, and sometimes I feel like a total wuss. So I’m reminding myself today that I am always brave, even when things feel too hard and I want to run away. I am here. I am brave. And so are you 🌟⁣ ⁣ #drydecember #AFday526 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom

My plow guy called this morning to ask if I wanted him to plow my driveway. But we didn’t get that much snow last night and I needed a moment for mama, so instead I shoveled. And then my kids came out and shoveled with me. And before I knew it the driveway and front walk were clear and my swagger wagon was brushed off too. Fresh air + early morning exercise + family bonding = Wednesday win ✅⁣ ⁣ One of the reasons I needed that outdoor moment was that I had to clear my head after having a legit sugar anxiety dream last night. Today is day three (of 14) without added and artificial sugar. Last night I dreamt that I ate two giant spoonfuls of Nutella before remembering that I’d sworn off the stuff for the two weeks before Christmas. I haven’t felt dream-shame so real since I dreamt about drinking booze during my first few alcohol-free weeks. Crazy. ⁣ ⁣ So here I am today: proud of the healthy choices I’m making, even if haunted by dreams of sugar-shame, and grateful for fresh air and powdery snow ❄️🙂 #AsSheIs #nofilter ⁣ ⁣ #drydecember #AFday525 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom

I have decided that after being in a slump since Thanksgiving, and basically being on a sugar bender all weekend, I am once again cutting added and artificial sugar for two weeks. I feel puffy and gross and out of control, so, bye. Ugh. ⁣ ⁣ Two weeks takes me to December 23. As I tried to convince myself that this was the right decision, all I could think was, THANK GOD I CAN EAT NUTELLA ON CHRISTMAS. AND CHRISTMAS EVE. AND BOXING DAY.⁣ ⁣ This is a problem. ⁣ ⁣ In fact, I’m starting to realize that my dependence on sugar is THE problem. Sugar is my OG addiction. The substance I sought for comfort, reward, and celebration long before alcohol came into play. ⁣ ⁣ Cutting alcohol from my life was not easy, but it was simple. Cutting sugar is neither easy nor simple. Sugar lurks everywhere. I have young kids and a sugar-loving husband. A gal’s gotta eat. Pondering the next two weeks without sugar makes me anxious enough. I can’t even fathom the long term. ⁣ ⁣ So I will start with this strategic mindset: I don’t have to cut sugar, I get to. I get to detox my body and fill it with good stuff. I get to regain control from the sugar monster. I get to de-puff. I get to sleep without sugar sweats (like I had last night 🙄). I get to wake up guilt-free. I get to have steadier energy. All. Day. I get to do all of this simply by ditching something that is highly addictive and in no way good for me. Alrighty then!⁣ ⁣ This mindset helped me through my early AF days when filling my glass with seltzer instead of wine was a Herculean feat. This mindset always helps me through a hard workout. And I’m calling on it now as I attempt to go sans sugar during the two week lead-up to the holiday that most strongly triggers my sweet tooth. ⁣ ⁣ I don’t have to, I get to. How about you?⁣ #drydecember #AFday523 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom

Little did I know that slipping into metallic-accented athleisure and layering on my grandmother’s jewelry in order to transform myself into as close to a diva as I can get would be just what I needed on this wintry Friday🤷🏻‍♀️⁣ ⁣ One of the things I love most about teaching #kickboxing is that I have to jump out of my comfort zone and bring my best every time. Whether I’m in beast mode or slug mode IRL, on the mat I owe it to the athletes who spend both their time and money to be there to bring the highest level of energy and focus that I can muster. For me, it is a tremendous gift to have the opportunity to teach and teach well - especially when I feel like crap. Teaching has helped me boost my confidence, honor my resilience, and not take myself too seriously. ⁣ ⁣ ... which is how I ended up in rhinestones by 8am for today’s First Friday class theme: Battle of the Divas👑 It felt great to release my inner diva and to have a class full of badass ladies who did the same💪⁣ ⁣ Would I have ever had the guts to waltz into my MMA gym looking like this if I were still drinking? Would I be a kickboxing instructor in the first place if I were still drinking? The answer to both of these questions is a resounding NO. So here I am, chillin’ way outside my comfort zone, grateful to have a little extra swagger as we welcome the weekend 🙌 #TGIFK #TGIAFF⁣ ⁣ #drydecember #AFday520 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom

The holiday season is upon us as sudden as a spiked fever. The end of the whole friggin’ decade is just around the corner. If this feels like a lot to process, that’s because it is. And it’s also effing cold outside, at least here in NY 🥶 For those of you who are struggling at this heightened time of the year - be it with drinking, family, money, health, the general craziness of it all, or anything else - know that sometimes something just has to break in order for you to break through to the beauty you deserve to have in your life. For those of you who are feeling on top of the world, take a moment to appreciate the journey that got you there, including the setbacks, the heartbreak, the ugly stuff. All of those pieces brought you to where you are now. Grateful to be here 🌟 Let’s put our pieces safely in our pockets, zip our coats, and keep moving forward, shall we? P.S. Thank you @emmalovewell for saying just what so many of us need to hear during your awesomely moving @Coldplay ride 💫

Back on the mat today and it felt great 🥊 It didn’t hit me until this week that not only is the end of the year hurtling at us - but the end of the decade 😲 I will have bigger thoughts on this later, as I am still processing how utterly and profoundly my life has changed in the last 10 years. For now: I’m going to spend the next few weeks tuning in. I’m going to listen to my brain when it wants to write or read or reach out or hunker down. I am going to listen to my body when it wants to rev up or slow down or eat Nutella or eat kale. I may not always indulge - after all, sometimes slowing down is not an option and I definitely should not eat as much Nutella as my body craves 😬 - but I’m going to listen. I want to close out the year feeling like I’ve just had a cup-filling, soul-satisfying catch up with an old friend - except the old friend is me. 10 years ago, I never would’ve guessed I’d be closing out this decade as a sober kickboxing instructor. So who knows what I will be up to in another 10 years. What I do know is that I am proud of where I am in life right now and I’m going to spend the next few weeks taking it all in. And when the craziness of the holidays starts to feel stressful or suffocating, I hope I will remember to pause. Breathe. Be still. Find grace. And say thank you to the forces that be for getting me to exactly where I am. 🌀 #drydecember #AFday519 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom

This was the mantra I repeated to myself this morning during @annagreenberg’s Courage meditation. A meditation I joined because my fellow #PelotonSoberSquad co-founder @by.grit.and.grace put it on our Holiday Self-Care Challenge schedule. A meditation I didn’t realize how much I needed until I was in it, inhaling “I am courageous” and exhaling “I am strong” 🧘🏻‍♀️⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ Anna said a lot of important things about courage, but none resonated more than this: there is courage in looking inside yourself, identifying places of discomfort or malcontent, and staying in those places instead of retreating. I am still working on this. I am still undoing a lifetime of subconscious wiring that had me skedaddling at the first moment of discomfort, heading for the nearest cookie or piece of chocolate, then the nearest wine bottle. Now that I’ve removed booze from my life it’s back to sugar I go. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I had no idea how strong these ties between food and comfort were because alcohol numbed me to this (and so much more) for so long. But now I see clearly that this bond runs deep. This subconscious pathway is smooth and wide and oh so easy to traipse. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ But I am courageous. And I am strong. And I will keep practicing being present with discomfort, fear, hurt, and all the tough stuff. I will try my best to stop running away. ⁣⁣ ⁣⁣ I won’t do this perfectly. But I will keep chipping away at this new pathway, forging a link in my ever-evolving brain between discomfort and self-care that will someday be stronger than the link between discomfort and sugar. ⁣⁣ ⁣ I am courageous. I am strong. And I can be present with the good, the bad, and all that lies between 🌀⁣⁣ #drydecember #AFday516 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom #peloton

I feel puffy and gross from the sugar-and-carbfest that was my Thanksgiving, I’m fighting the onset of a cold, and I don’t feel ready to start a new week. BUT. My second sober Thanksgiving is in the books, and it was lovely. We snagged our Christmas tree before the storm hit, and it’s all trimmed. I got my ass to #church today with @allymisslove, and it felt good to sweat. I’ve got @bublywater in my Spode stemless seltzer glass, football on TV, and a belly full of my favorite chicken chili. Life isn’t perfect. Life is good. Cheers to #DryDecember! 🌲➡️🎄 #AFday515 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #pelotonsobersquad #afsquad #fitmom

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My Drinking Non-Negotiables

I will not drink to relieve boredom.
I will not drink to relieve stress.
I will not be drunk in front of my children.
I will not drink when I am alone; or alone with my children during the witching hour or any hour.
I will not drink when I have to drive.
I will not drink when I am traveling alone.
I will always put my children, my husband and my safety before alcohol.

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