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The writings of a former wine mom and sometime supermom maintaining weight loss, workouts, and wits. Proudly alcohol-free since July 5, 2018.

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Hi, I’m Jen.

An occasional supermom of two aspiring superheroes, I have been known to polish off a jar of Nutella and/or a bottle of wine in one sitting.

But after six years of motherhood under my too-tight belt, I decided to cut the Nutella habit and invest in self-care. In 2017, I lost 25 pounds with Weight Watchers (now WW) and started exercising regularly again. In 2018, I maintained my weight loss, ramped up my workouts, and began to explore my dysfunctional relationship with wine.

Having completed Dry January and then another 76-day alcohol-free stint in the spring, I committed to One Year Alcohol-Free on July 5, 2018. July 4, 2019 was my Independence Day and I’m proud to be navigating #momlife without booze.

Find me on Instagram! @maintaining_mama

Made it back to our happy place, where my roots match today’s stormy sky 🌫😉We are hanging here through the remaining dog days of summer, hoping to stay relatively unplugged and as chill as our two children and two dogs will allow. I am always so happy to be in this 240-year-old farmhouse of which we are the current custodians. If these walls could talk... they would not have a single tale to tell about me drinking. And I cherish that I have only ever been AF here. My 240-year-old clean slate, this place. It’s going to be a good week 🙂 #AFday413 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

#TransformationTuesday: driver’s license edition. These pics were taken about four years apart. IMHO I look older on the left! 😳 We moved to NY after a whirlwind seven months that took us across the country and back, from MA to CA to NY. Two cross-country moves in seven months, with a toddler, baby, and Frenchie in tow. I was a walking ball of stress, eating and drinking to comfort and “treat” myself. But I was doing the best I could. Just as I am now. I wish I could reach back and give that mama on the left a big hug and maybe show her my ab muscles so she could understand what she’s truly capable of. I would tell her to hold on, to summon grace, to trust the process. I would tell her she is strong and worthy of self-love even though I know she wouldn’t believe me. I would tell her it’s all going to be ok. Better than ok, even. 🗣In case anyone needs to hear it today: it’s all going to be better than ok. Try to trust me more than my 2015 self would have 😉 #AFday412 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

I had a feeling I was obsessing too much about the number on the scale lately - well, and my husband was telling me so 😬 So I dug up a photo from last summer and here we have it: photographic evidence of my 9lb weight gain over the past year. I could spend the next 100 words picking these two bodies apart, or I could use these six: 👉I hereby choose strong over skinny. Even if it means going up a size. Even if I don’t get back into the 140s any time soon. Or ever. I have worked hard for this muscle and I want to hold onto it. The woman on the left was drinking wine and eating a pint of Enlightened ice cream almost every night. The woman on the right has been alcohol-free for 411 days and has completely removed sugar alcohols from her diet. The woman on the left rode a roller coaster fueled by various sugary snacks throughout the day. The woman on the right sails smooth and steady on a sea of protein, fat, and carbs. I am still getting used to this heavier weight, this added thickness. I still fall into the trap of longing to be thinner, comparing my body to bodies that are not my body. I am still learning to embrace imperfection instead of striving for perfection. I am getting there, and I am grateful to be here. This is my body now. 153 proud pounds 💪 #AFday411 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement #wwlifetime

Thank you @pelotonjenn for transporting me out of my cluttered, unfinished basement where I spin surrounded by children and dogs and onto a yacht for 60 breezy minutes 🛥😎 Taking it easy on the bike - necessitated today by yesterday’s back-to-back #kickboxing and circuit classes - does not come naturally to me. But it’s critical not only to my physical recovery but also to my commitment to dismantling my inner perfectionist. The perfectionist I once drank to escape. The perfectionist who straight-jacketed me within my comfort zone. The perfectionist who kept me from experiencing true presence and contentment because I was always striving for an ideal that I now realize does not exist IRL. Today, when Jenn said a resistance of 50, I was at 45. When she said to push, I opted out. This is all ok. This does not make my ride any less valuable than anyone else’s. It just makes it mine. I took the ride I needed today just like I am taking the path I need to take in my life. I am no longer concerned with keeping up with anyone else. I am more comfortable now just doing me. Amazing what happens when self-loathing is conquered by self-love 💗 @onepeloton #peloton #yachtrockride #AFday410 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

Sometimes I take #AFlife for granted. I walk my dog in the warm sunshine without recalling how I used to walk my dog to bust through yet another hangover. But this morning I remembered. For a moment, I put my feet back in the shoes of #winemom me, who would roll out of bed achy and sour, stuff my puffy self into a pair of leggings and leash up my dog in the desperate hope that the 24-minute loop around our neighborhood would be enough to make me feel functional. “I will not drink tonight,” I would say to myself. “I have to stop doing this.” “What the F is my problem?! No one else wakes up feeling this crappy because no one else drinks four glasses of wine on a Tuesday night.” Shame. Self-loathing. Anxiety. Despair. Powerlessness. Isolation. I felt it all as my mutt and I hoofed it around our ‘hood. But not today. Not for the last 409 days. I may indulge in a total absorption of the glorious present, but I do not forget my past. I will never forget how far I’ve come 🙂 #AFday409 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

Day 406: Grumpy AF but grateful to be AF. Because putting myself to bed at 8:30 to end this grump-inducing day is a hell of a lot better than drinking myself into a shame spiral. #AFlife is not all rainbows and narwhals, stuffed or otherwise 😏 There is no pink cloud that could contain a day that includes a shattered iPad, a clogged toilet, other unpleasant toilet-related miscellany, cranky children, high humidity, and belly bloat that resembles late 2nd trimester. But even at the end of a 💩tastic day like this one, pride and gratitude are within easy reach. I may feel grumpy and gross and stressed, but I also feel capable and proud and grateful. I am navigating this life without an escape hatch. I am facing challenges head-on. I am going through this brutiful - as @glennondoyle would say - journey simply and completely as myself. My grumpy, grateful self ❤️ #AFday406 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

I took this photo this morning, during my one precious hour of exercise that I carved out for myself (by which I mean I let my kids have their iPads at 7am) so that I can continue to attempt to maintain my sanity during this week of Mommy Camp. My kids are with me all day every day this week 🤪 I have scheduled a lot of fun (for them, exhausting for me) activities... yet two days in and this week is kicking my butt 😔 I love my kids more than anything, and also they drive me up a wall. While I’m relieved to be out of the toddler and pre-school phases, early elementary is proving to be a non-stop fun fest of negotiating, whining, and fighting. And more negotiating. Trying to stay one step ahead of my kids has my back in knots and me wanting to crawl into bed before they do. My kids are great kids, I swear! And I love them a ton, I swear! But GOLLY are they exhausting in a whole new way these days. So I will continue to make time to exercise. I will stay on track with eating and hydration. And I will continue to be alcohol-free. It’s weeks like this that make me wonder how I ever functioned when I was drinking wine almost every night and waking up feeling like crap almost every morning. It is no fun to struggle with parenting, but I know I am a better, more patient and more present parent now. Life is not perfect. But it is better. Even when it’s hard 💟 #AFday405 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

I am releasing this photo of me and my early morning eye bags into the world because what I have to say is more important to me than pretending I wake up with a glowing, un-puffy face. Last Fall, my husband and I took money that would have been more practical to save and bought a 240-year-old farmhouse whose crumbling walls and buckling floors would make any Pottery Barn customer shudder. We closed on the house on my 38th birthday, three-and-a-half months into my #oneyearalcoholfree. I have never had a drink in this house. I have no skeletons in these closets. Spending time in this house is #AFlife in a nutshell. It’s not easy, it’s not perfect, but I am so deeply content when we’re here. Life is calm. The crappy stuff is manageable. Beauty can be found everywhere, from the sweeping view across our field to a monarch caterpillar munching on a leaf 🌱🐛 I woke up at 5:41 this morning. When my husband stirred I said, “I’m awake. I’m too happy to sleep.” And that, to me, is it: I’m too happy to sleep through my life. I don’t want to numb myself or escape from anything anymore. It’s just too darn good to miss a moment. This house is my happy place, and AF life is my happy place 😊 #AFday402 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

“I could never stop drinking.” “I could never be a kickboxing instructor.” It’s amazing what we can do when we stop believing we can’t. 401 days and 2 classes down 🥊🙌😊 #AFday401 #soberaf #jomo #ichoosenobooze #winemom #sahm #mom #momlife #momblogger #instamom #wwmoms #healthy #alcoholfree #sober #soberlife #grayareadrinking #sobermovement #sobermom #sobermommovement

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My Drinking Non-Negotiables

I will not drink to relieve boredom.
I will not drink to relieve stress.
I will not be drunk in front of my children.
I will not drink when I am alone; or alone with my children during the witching hour or any hour.
I will not drink when I have to drive.
I will not drink when I am traveling alone.
I will always put my children, my husband and my safety before alcohol.

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