Free February

I have decided that I am going to think about this month as Free February. Which is a bit contrary to my rule-following nature so I’m interested to see how I do. Here are the freedoms I am granting myself this month:

1. Free from labels

2. Free to explore my relationship with alcohol

3. Free to commit to Freestyle

4. Free to not track while I am in London with my family

5. Free to love and accept myself just as I am

As I wrote yesterday, I am feeling the need to be free of labels right now. I am not ready to label myself as “sober” or “alcohol-free” and that is ok. I need to be free to continue to explore my relationship with alcohol. To take my own authentic journey through this tricky territory.

I am also going to stop stressing about whether or not to commit to Freestyle and just give it more time. This weight loss journey is a marathon not a sprint.

And since we are taking our kids to London in a couple of weeks, I am also going to spend some this month not tracking. I plan to make good choices – some of the time. I also plan to eat all of my favorite foods without guilt, knowing that I will get back on track as soon as I get home.

This month I am going to make an extra effort to love myself just as I am. Even if I drink wine. Even if I eat an entire jar of Nutella while in London. Even if I gain weight.

I hereby embrace my flaws. I hereby love that I am a work in progress. I hereby accept that life is a constant recalibration and I love that I have come so far in achieving a healthier overall balance.

Five days in to Free February, and on my first February weigh-in day, here’s where I am:

  • 0 lb lost
  • 1 lb gained
  • -19 weeklies
  • 4 blue dots
  • 5 workouts
  • 1 glass of wine

Relieved the gain was just a pound considering the degree to which I allowed Super Bowl Sunday to be an excuse to overindulge. This week I will get back to six blue dots, maintain my workouts, and stay within my weekly points.

More on that glass of wine in my next post.

 

Dry January Day 31

So that happened.

Dry January has been a joyous journey. I expected it to feel like an uphill climb, and at times it did. But mostly it felt like a happy dance.

I feel free. I feel unlimited.

And I never could have gotten through this without Connect and everyone who inspired and supported me along the way. To think that I have been able to inspire and support others makes my heart burst with joy and gratitude.

So here I am on Day 31:

  • 5.2lbs lost
  • 23 workouts
  • 25 blue dots

And now the big numbers, courtesy of my Dry January app:

  • $200 saved
  • 10,000 alcohol calories not consumed

TEN THOUSAND calories I would have spent on poison instead of protein shakes. On sugar instead of – ok, well I definitely still consumed sugar. In fact I still consumed all my daily points and almost all of my weeklies. But instead of spending half my dailies and most of my weeklies on booze, I spent it (for the most part) on foods that nourish my body. Foods that sustain energy. Foods that build muscle.

I used to ingest 10,000 calories of alcohol every month. I am NEVER going back to that number.

But back to the scale. As of this morning, I am 143.6lbs, under my original goal weight of 145. I didn’t make it to my current goal of 138, but that is ok. For now, I am going to stick with Freestyle and my current workout regimen and see where my body settles.

I am happy with the way I look. (Omg I just typed that!) I don’t know where I will end up weight-wise but I do know these two things:

1. I de-puffed like a BOSS this month; and

2. Whether I reach my goal of 138 or not, I NEVER would have gotten there with my former drinking habits.

My former drinking habits. Have I mentioned I’m not going back?

 

Dry January Day Ten

Maybe it’s because we are now into double digits that I’ve been thinking a lot about numbers today. I am also on track to do five workouts for the second consecutive week, which is unheard of for me. But it will happen! Woohoo!

The other number I’ve been pondering is the number of booze points I am saving. I estimate I averaged about 15 wine points per day before Dry January. Sure, some days I limited myself to one glass. But other days I had four. And I regularly drank an entire bottle in a night. So for every 7 point wine day there was a 21 point wine day. 21 points!! I only get 23 points daily on Weight Watchers’ Freestyle program! Even though it was only 11 days ago that I was stuck in this unhealthy routine, I am already shocked by how much I drank. 105-ish points per week. YIKES. Some days I ate less to save points for wine. Other days I went way over my dailies and I often went way over my weeklies. Ugh.

This Naked Mind is obviously resonating with me. I think I will keep coming back to this, throughout this month and beyond: “Forgive yourself. You are the hero of the story. There is no reason to dwell on the negativity of the past and every reason to forgive yourself. Look forward to an incredible future.”

And a hell of a lot more points!