Dry January Day Five

I was expecting to hit the hay tonight feeling sorry for myself that I didn’t get to drink. I can’t remember the last Friday night when I didn’t have several glasses of wine, so staying sober was a big milestone in this Dry January journey. But I DID IT. And it occurred to me, as I was wiping down the kitchen counter and turning off the light to come up to bed – that this is the time of night when the buzz would start wearing off and the guilt would start setting in. “Why did I drink so much? I went so far over my daily points! I feel so fat. I’m going to feel like crap tomorrow. How am I going to get through the day?” Etc etc etc until I would conk out in a haze and likely wake up sometime in the middle of the night dehydrated and soaked with sweat. Gross. I miss wine. But I don’t miss the guilt. Or the gross. So while I did dawdle a bit at my own pity party tonight, I didn’t stay long. Mama’s got better things to do.

Dry January Day Four

Day 4 is in the books, thankfully! (Clearly our Frenchie is as relieved to see the end of this day as I am.) Due to the bomb cyclone I was definitely “white knuckling” my way through this long-ass cabin-fevered day. But! I made it. No booze and I stayed within my points (saving up my weeklies to celebrate my daughter’s 6th birthday this weekend!). I was also productive, present, and patient with my crazed kiddos, and I know when I wake up tomorrow I will be so grateful that I was so strong today. One day at a time, and this behemoth is DONE.

Dry January Day Three

If not a happier hour, at least a healthier hour. Nobody panic, that’s seltzer in the glass!

I felt triumphant today with my increased energy and clearer head (so clear! Omg! But that’s for another post). And then the witching hour struck. And my kids were complete twerps. I wanted wine. I felt tired and hangry and overwhelmed with everything I had to do and defeated by my kiddos who were out of their minds (and also tired and hangry). On any night of 2017 (or 2016 or 2015 for that matter) I would have “treated” myself to a bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. Tonight, once my children were fed and magically transformed back into the world’s greatest little human beings again, as I chopped some butternut squash to roast, I treated myself to a moment of reflection instead. I felt bad for yelling at my kids. I felt relieved that it wasn’t just the wine that made me yell at them before. I felt happy that the kids and I talked through why I lost my patience and they ate a healthy dinner with no whining. I felt proud that I overcame the urge to open a bottle of wine tonight and marveled at how easy it was. I am delighting in the clarity of the last few days and I feel like I am reintroducing myself to myself. Most of all I am grateful for this Connect community. I may not personally know those of you who are on the dry January journey, but just knowing you’re there is everything.

 

Like a Rock

Oh wait, no I didn’t! Because I slept like an absolute rock until my alarm went off at 5:45 so I could make my 6am spin class. Dry January Day 1 was a success! Although I felt tired, waking with a clear head was such a relief. Today will be a challenge because it’s my first solo sober witching hour since before the holidays. But I’m feeling so motivated. Just gotta keep this momentum going! Congrats to all of us who are committed to a dry January for getting through the first day!

 

Bring On Dry January!

The wine glass is in the dish rack, and will be packed away with the rest of the Christmas dishes tomorrow. There is no more open wine in my house. And I must say, I am more excited to start my first dry January tomorrow than I was to drink my last sips of wine tonight. And that is thanks to all of you here who have shown me camaraderie and support as I attempt something that is a huge personal challenge for me. Bring it, 2018! I’m ready!

The (Re-)Start: A Daunting Commitment to Go Dry

This is the start of my journey. Well, technically a post-holiday re-start with a scary twist. After going completely off the wagon with both eating and drinking and puffing up accordingly, I decided to get back to tracking my food with the Weight Watchers app. In addition to that, as torturous as it may be, I need a good clean break from booze. So that’s happening. Ugh.

Below is the post I wrote on Connect, the Weight Watchers social network, committing to Dry January. From here I will cross-post most of what I write on Connect (minus emojis and some personal details). Deep breath.

Why am I doing this? A few reasons. First, the Connect platform kind of sucks. Which I understand. After all, if it were too easy and comprehensive a service, Weight Watchers members might be less motivated to attend meetings. I don’t attend meetings, I just use the app to track my food. For me, Connect is a huge bonus because it is a nice, basic support network of wonderful people. But the platform can be frustratingly arcane. It takes a long time to load older posts and I would like to have a record of my Dry January that I can access readily and easily.

Second, coming clean here: I am backdating this and all of my posts from January 2018 so that I have an accurate chronological blog record of my journey – but in fact I am writing this introduction to the post below on February 3, 2018. That’s confusing. And you might not even care. (And no one may read this anyway! Ha!) But I decided to start blogging just in the last couple of days, after seeing multiple comments on my posts suggesting it might be a good thing. So here I am.

Here I am. I am here for me. Laying off the booze for 31 days was incredibly scary and daunting and necessary for me. But [spoiler alert!] I did it. My eyes are open. My mind is clear. My heart is bursting. And I want to share all of that here, beyond just Connect. I want this creative outlet in my life. And maybe, just maybe, someone will stumble across this humble little particle of the interwebs and be inspired. Or comforted. Or feel like he or she is not alone. I’m here for me, but if you’re reading this, I’m here for you too.

December 29, 2017: Committing to Dry January

This is me a few days before Christmas, wearing a strapless jumpsuit that fit me like a glove and in which I felt fab. I totally fell off the wagon over the holiday and am embarrassed to say I don’t think I’d fit into this same jumpsuit today. So. I’m going to start tracking again on January 1, and am also committing to a dry January. Which scares me. But I’ve become that stay-at-home mom who can’t get through the witching hour without a glass of wine (which inevitably leads to more) and that needs to change. I look forward to tapping into the power of this community to help me through and to help keep me accountable. #sobersisters I’ll take any encouragement you can offer! My heart is pounding at the thought of posting this and appealing for help, but I need it. Thank you everyone and Happy New Year to you all!